Eyes.

Seeing who God is and who we are in His light.

The eyes are the window to the soul. In a recent psychological study, people were presented with logic problems on a computer screen in front of them. Their heads were stabilized by a chin rest as they worked, which allowed a camera to record while zoomed in on their eyes. The pupils of the human eye was found to dilate when people were solving these challenging logic problems. As the problems got more difficult, the eyes dilated more and more, but in the same way that there are limits to a mind’s capacity to perform these difficult computations, there are limits to the amount that a human’s pupil can expand. The interesting part of the experiment was that those two limits were almost always reached at the same time, and inevitably, when a person’s eye dilated as much as it could, they were unable to do the next most difficult problem.

I think one of the most interesting phrases in the Bible is “the fear of the Lord.” I never quite understood what it meant until last year, but then a professor phrased it to me as a knowledge of who God is, a knowledge of who we are as people, and a knowledge of the vast difference between the two. A consistent theme in the Bible is an image of this fear of the Lord coming through beholding His face, like Moses did on Mount Sinai. In other words, it’s about seeing Him, and knowing Him through that. 2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” I think a quote from one of my favorite books rephrases that well;

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are, and when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

That experience of seeing the Lord works something like that eye experiment, but God is far more than a simple logic problem. As we see Him, the difference between His identity and ours issues us a challenge, simultaneously evoking awe and wonder while the love in His nature delivers a call towards Him. As we see Him our eyes are stretched by the challenge just as our soul is stretched as well. If we choose to accept His call, it always inevitably ends with us being brought to that point our eyes cannot expand beyond, but that’s what He wants. As our souls hit their breaking point, He is able to do His most incredible work through us, just as we are able to lean into Him and the rest found in His spirit.

This summer, I interned at a church (Read the blog post Booster Rocket to know more). We put on a summer camp for the youth group, for which I got to be a leader. We did it using a college campus, and so the students slept in a dorm. Guys were on the 7th floor, and with girls on the floors above and below them. Obviously we didn’t want them sneaking to each other’s floors so two leaders from each floor had to sleep in the lobby with the elevators and the door to the stairwell, and naturally, I volunteered for the first night. Everyone else got to bed around 1am on that first night. That was when the other leader who was sleeping in the lobby remembered he had to write a sermon for the following morning (@Colton Born), and we both realized that the lights in this particular lobby didn’t turn off, and so being the noble friend that I am, I crashed instead of helping him write his talk.

I remember laying down on a crappy dorm room mattress, knowing I had been awake since 5am the previous morning, and that I would have to be awake and ready to lead high schoolers in 5 hours despite fluorescent lights searing into my retinas. At that moment, all I could do was cover my eyes, and look to God to say, “I have nothing left, and I need you.” It wasn’t eloquent, nor was it a particularly fun prayer to pray. As bad as I felt though, Colton didn’t get to bed until 2:30ish. He must have felt far worse than I did, but he got up the next morning, and spat fire in front of 75 high school guys. Now if you know him, you know he’s incredible, but given the circumstances, I know he couldn’t have done that just himself.

An interesting part of that psychological study of eyes found that the human mind is, in a lot of ways, quite lazy. That’s something of an oversimplification, but the point is that if the mind has a choice, it will avoid anything that pushes it’s capacity. It always goes towards the path of least resistance, and if given the choice, it would just sit in a vegetative state all day long. The problem is that in 21st century America, we ARE given the choice. As a college student, the option to sit in bed all day watching Netflix is like the calm rocking of a boat on the ocean lulling us to sleep, literally and metaphorically. The hand-sized phone that gives 24/7 access to our Instagram feed and cat videos on Facebook is the equivalent of a handful of sleeping pills. The social culture at a university is like white water rapids, and if we are willing, we can ride down it, captivated at every twist and turn to the point that we miss everything else around us.

Honestly, those things aren’t bad. In fact, I would argue that we are surrounded by good choices at college. Netflix is awesome, social media is truly a modern marvel, and the university social experience is an incredible blessing unlike any other time in life. However, we could fill our life to the brim with good things, and miss out entirely on the great opportunities God has waiting for us. If we are willing to look at Him, God’s very nature will be the splash of ice cold water to the face that wakes us up to the reality we live in, and dilates our eyes to see what He is putting in front of us. Stepping into those opportunities will not always be easy, but they will always be good. It won’t always be fun, but it will be worth it. It probably will take you to places where you have to say, “God, I have nothing left and I need you,” but I promise you, the experience of seeing that to be true is what makes it worth it in the first place.

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Originally published at theforlornemoose.wordpress.com on September 5, 2016.