Happy and Tired.

Doing what’s worth it even when I don’t want to.

Last night, I set my alarm for 7:30am. The next thing I remember is rolling out of bed this morning at 10:11am. I had to fight to get myself out of bed, even though I slept in. I debating trying to get ready for chapel at 10:50, but it just wasn’t going to happen. All day, my thinking has been done through a fog, despite three cups of coffee trying to cut their way through it. Today is the first day in a while where I don’t have much to do, which is probably good cuz I doubt I’d be able to get much done even if I had to.

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 7am. I went on a run, got ready for the day, and then made it to work by 8:45. I managed to catch breakfast between 9:30 and 10, and then was more or less in class until 1. Then I had an hour to compose myself, followed by another hour at work. Immediately after that, I went to a local lake with some friends. Once I got back, I grabbed dinner, did as much homework as I could in an hour, and then went to stompfest practice. It was hands down the hardest one we’ve had yet. After two hours of sweating and stomping, followed by an hour of cheering for a sport I don’t know much about (congrats to the Cubs), I finally made it back to my room around 12:30, and then, I set my alarm for 7:30.

Every day for the past two weeks has been just as (if not more) busy than yesterday was. And yet, here I am. I’m sitting here in Starbucks and I can feel the exhaustion. It’s in my legs from doing stompfest and running. It’s in my hands from writing and typing. It’s in my mind from thinking a lot and not sleeping enough, and it’s why I didn’t get up this morning. In spite of it all, I sit here, and I am happy. I’m a part of a killer show for stompfest. I’m currently the ringleader of a group of dudes setting each other up on blind dates (yes, that is in fact a real thing). I’m doing well in my classes despite taking 18 hours this semester. I love the job I’m working at, and I feel like I’ve settled into the social life of Lipscomb University in a way I never have before.

“Dude, I’m happy, and I’m and tired, but I’d rather be both than neither.” This quote comes to you from one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met. He was a co-intern with me this summer, and every Sunday, he would pick me up at the same time the sun came up, and we’d drive to church by 6am for set up. After the services, we’d tear down until around 1. On one of these Sundays, we left church to move mattresses for some of the other interns, and then we went Glacier National Park. After a long hike, we ran off from the other 8 people we were with, and ended up dunking our heads in a waterfall. We made it back from this excursion around 10pm, and promptly went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner.

For those of you keeping track, that was something like 18 or 20 hours of just going. If I remember correctly, it was after all of this that my friend chose to utter that quote I put above. Our day was good, but it certainly was not easy. We were exhausted, and what exhausted us had been the cause of our satisfaction. What I’ve learned in the last year of my life is that satisfaction and happiness, at least in a limited sense, usually lie right beyond what we want to do. It takes pushing yourself beyond what is easy to get to what is good.

The reason why I am happy right now is because I’ve been willing to exhaust myself in the right ways. I’ve always prided myself on the ability to get up whenever I wanted to, and today was the first day in a long time that I didn’t. Anyone can attest that waking up early isn’t easy, but I promise you that it is good. For me, I have to get up at 7:30, and not snooze my alarm when you do. Obviously waking up seems like such a limited thing, but the discipline it requires spreads throughout not just your whole day, but also your whole life. That isn’t always true, but more often than not, you have to be willing to sacrifice comfort for the sake of joy, and for the sake of living a good life. Waking up early is one of those areas I’ve found I need to do that the most.

Right now, that also means writing this even though it’s been hard to crank the words out. For that stompfest show I’m in, it meant working on the dances outside of practice. To set up that blind date group, it meant risking being laughed at as I asked guys to participate, or girls to go on dates with them. To do well in my classes, it means in between the 9th and 10th innings of the World Series game last night, I sat down and cranked out most of a homework assignment. To have the relationships I have took saying hi to people even when I was sure they didn’t want to talk to me, and reversing the long held assumption I’ve had that most people don’t want me around. My life isn’t perfect, and it’s certainly not easy, but it is good.

This story is my paraphrase of some book I read a while back, so bear with it. A man decided he wanted to get back into shape, and so he got a personal trainer at a gym. This trainer happened to be a former Navy SEAL, and for their first session, the SEAL told the man they would just do pushups. They started out with a goal of 200.The man coming for training has never done more than 50 in his life, and so he just did 40 and then gave up, expecting the trainer to let him move on. The trainer looked at him, and said, “Get back to it; we’re not stopping until you do them all.”

The man kept going, and by the time he finished 80, he thought his arms had turned to rubber. The SEAL kept pushing him, and slowly but surely, he hit 120, and then 150, and then finally he made it to 200. He asked the SEAL why the goal had been so high, and the SEAL replied with what’s called the 40% principle. It comes from the Navy, and essentially states that people will start wanting to give up at right about 40% of their potential. However, it is the last 60% that produces the greatest growth, whether that’s in terms of working out or life in general.

I can assure you that when he finished those 200 pushups, this man was tired, but I also would be willing to promise you that he was happy. I wish the same life for you, so go out there and get it.